While no one wants to be the only single one in a sea of couples, but you shouldn’t get into a relationship with just any “Joe Schmoe” or “Jill Schmill” just to fill the void of being alone. I used to feel like I was the only one in the universe who was still single. I was like a rare alien who had three eyes and green skin that no one could be bothered to stay in a relationship with. When I dated people, I rarely felt a strong connection, and when I did, I frequently seemed to try and change something about myself in order to impress the other person. I was often told to stop being so picky. I listened to the advice at times and tried to be interested in people who I was not remotely excited by, but it always gave me a sick feeling when I thought about really delving into a serious relationship with them.
The thing is, being picky is not a bad thing. Being rude to people or shallow is not okay. However, waiting for someone who you can actually stand being around and you look forward to seeing is much more important than filling the social standard. Finding someone who you can laugh with and lean on for emotional support is one of the main reasons we get into relationships in the first place. You shouldn’t have to settle for someone who you don’t feel comfortable being yourself around. This is your life after all, and you are the person who can choose how to live it! Don’t sell yourself short!
Today we experience some of the highest rates of divorce, and many of us have lived within divorced families for our whole lives. While I know divorce can be caused by many factors, I can’t help but think that if more people waited until they have found a mate who is their best friend, the divorce rates would be much lower. A wise person once asked me, “If you wouldn’t let your best friend treat you this way, why would you let your partner?” This really gave me pause for thought. Why don’t we all think like this? Why would we spend our lives dedicated to people who wouldn’t act as our best friends would? Let’s have respect for ourselves!
Be patient, and let your relationships build naturally. I know it is so easy to be overpowered by lust as you begin a new relationship, but don’t get too carried away. Give yourselves time to really get to know each other in multiple situations before making any kind of commitment. Allow true colors to show. If your partner can stick by you when you are at your worst, then you know they will have potential for a long and happy relationship.
Be yourself and throw yourself into all of the activities that really empower you as a human being. Find someone who respects you and loves you for all that you love to do. Find someone who can understand your mind and how you think. Find someone who will love you even when you are down and out. Find someone who will support you through the times when life gets tough. Find a best friend who will make you laugh and make your heart sing with joy. If you can bear to wait, you never know what an amazing life could lie ahead for you.