Positive self-talk is an imperative tool for solid personal growth. How often do we beat ourselves up for mistakes we’ve made? Or wish we were smarter, wiser, or more beautiful? Modern society tells us we must be better than the next person; we should constantly improve ourselves to reach some preset standard. How do these messages translate to the way we speak and think internally?

Many of us are used to being hard on ourselves. We believe we must suffer and work hard to get the things we desire. We believe the more we wear ourselves out to achieve our goals, the more worthy we become. I’m here to tell you that negative self-talk is a learned behavior. And our ability to live our bliss lies in positive self-talk.

Recently, I conducted a few social experiments in which I listened to the way women talked about themselves. I spoke with one woman in particular who was talking about her job options. Her eyes lit up with excitement as she mentioned all of the wonderful opportunities available in her industry until she came upon the big but. She explained she was excited for the potential but she was never good with people, and she didn’t think she had the skills to get the job even if she was given the opportunity. It was all just a dream. Her energy literally diminished with every negative comment she made about herself. I asked her how she felt when she thought about not being good enough for the open positions. She told me she felt terrible. This woman had a young son. I asked her if she would ever allow her son to talk about himself the way she had just talked about herself. “Never!” she exclaimed. “I always tell my son he can achieve anything he puts his mind to.” My response was: “and so can you!” I began a conversation about positive self-talk with her right there and then.

Positive self-talk starts with the core idea that we as individuals are worthy of our desires. We do not have to do anything to deserve great and wonderful things. Furthermore, we are each equipped with exactly the acumen we need to achieve our individual goals. When we come from this perspective, our internal talk shifts dramatically from “I’ll never be able to do that” to “I was born to do that.” Here are a few examples of negative self-talk and positive self-talk alternatives:

I can’t do this.    I am capable!
There’s no way it will work.    I can make it work.
Nothing ever goes right for me. Overcoming these obstacles has made me stronger.

Over the next few days, become aware of your internal speak. Are you being a heckler of your own success or are you your own biggest cheerleader?

Please share your positive self-talk methods below! I want to hear from you!